Lance Armstrong: Patriots Quarterback

Okay, I've generally avoided mentioning a certain seven-time Tour de France winner in the past nine months. It's because I kind of don't give a damn about him. It's unbelievably annoying that everyone in America thinks that he is the only cyclist, ever. Like he invented cycling. And as obnoxious as drivers honking at you is (even when they think they are being helpful), I'd much rather have someone honk at me than lean out of their window and yell "Hey, Lance!" For this reason alone, I hate him. I hate hearing his name. To me, it's an derogatory expletive.

However, there is a rumor going around that he is coming out of retirement.

In as-yet unrelated news, Patriots quarterback Tom Brady tore an ACL. I don't know what that is, but I think it's in your knee or ankle and that it is highly uncool to tear. I only know that this happened because it was on the front page of the Boston Globe. I don't follow sports involving balls.

Now, while I was digging up some information about this Armstrong comeback, I came across an article. Here's an excerpt:

In a startling turn of events, 7-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong has not only come out of retirement but has been signed by the New England Patriots to play quarterback in place of the injured Tom Brady.

Since it's on the internet, I have to believe that the sources are reputable*. You can judge for yourself, here's the whole thing: Lance Armstrong to Take QB Job For Patriots.

But seriously though, this week VeloNews reported on rumors that Lance Armstrong may join Astana for the 2009 Tour de France. Of course, Astana was the team that was un-invited by to the Tour this year by the Amuary Sport Organization. It seems to me that Astana's response to the ASO was to say "We can't ride? That's fine. We'll be back next year. With Lance. And he'll win another seven!"

Crazy stuff. We'll see how this develops.