Wednesday, December 9

Crappy Drivers: The Corner-Cutters.

My therapist advises me not to indulge my rage but I am told that my rants can be entertaining, so here goes:

You know what really grinds my gears? Crappy drivers. I'm talking about the kinds of drivers that you see and you just know that they failed out of preschool. I mean, they flunked at coloring-books. In other words, they don't know how to stay in the lines. It's a pretty simple concept. There are these lines on the roads and you keep your car inside those lines. Here, let me show you:

The picture pretty much speaks for itself, but what I am talking about is the way people cut corners when taking a left, and I'm approaching the intersection. Like, they feel the need to dive in to the corner at as wide an angle as possible, as if they are going 60 miles an hour and will roll their car if they try to take it any tighter. Hey jerkface, there are two lanes. Please get the f*dge out of mine. Seriously. Please learn how to drive before you come barreling down my street in the wrong lane.

So I unleash wrath of the Airzound bike horn upon them. This isn't particularly satisfying, since they are going the opposite direction of me, they are gone before there's any reaction. Alternatively, I speed up to reach the white stopping line, then (if I am taking a left or going straight) as far left in my lane as possible. This will send them in a panic as they are about to hit me, and make the swerve of avoidance, and theoretically realize what a jerk they have been all their lives, and re-enter driving school until they learn how to drive.

Alternatively, they may just hit me, and severely damage my bike or body. This is also somewhat acceptable, because I value cycling righteousness over personal safety. I guess that makes me some kind of bicycle zealot or something. . . . This approach might bear rethinking.

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